How to handle not seeing your kid everyday?

I live 200 miles away from my son and the only way I get to see him is if I make that drive his mother never has in the 6 years that he has been alive. It makes me so depressed and angry because I love him so much and want to be there for him but she makes it so hard. I dont have contact with my father and I dont want us to be like that. I want him to look at me and say I want to be like my daddy. I have offered his mother money to bring him from wichita to KC and she always says no. Its like pulling teeth just to get him to spend the night she always plans things for when I will be in town. I dont know what to do anymore. She is a great mother but at the same time she is hurting him keepin gus apart like this.